4 StarThe Templar Chronicles, Book 1:
Jack Templar Monster Hunter
Jeff Gunhus
184 Pages Ages 8 to 12
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Back Cover: If you have this book in your hands, I assume you are already a monster hunter or in training to become one. I hope my story helps you in the many fights ahead. However, if you are not a monster hunter . . . PUT THIS BOOK DOWN IMMEDIATELY. I’m serious. This story was never meant to become public. When I heard that some copies were making it into the hands of non-hunters, I was outraged. I’ve destroyed hundreds of these illegal copies but I can’t be sure I’ve found them all. The fact that you’ve read this far is proof of that. This isn’t a game. This is real. So read the next part very carefully
If you open this book, the monsters will sense it. They will be attracted to you like sharks tracking blood in the water. Whether you like it or not, you will be dragged into this world of monsters just as I was. You will have no choice but to become a hunter. Trust me, you’re not ready for this. The monsters are everywhere and you won’t stand a chance without proper training. I beg you, don’t read this book. And if you do . . . don’t say I didn’t warn you.
∞∞∞♦♦∞∞∞∞∞♦♦∞∞∞
Well you have read the warning, now I ask you to stop reading this, go to the sidebar and find a review of a pleasant and safe book. Jack Templar may only be a fourteen-year-old geeky boy, but he has changed in ways unimaginable. He has muscles and strength like the Hulk. To boys that may sound great (okay, to some girls, too), but it was not great for Jack and it would not be great for you.
Jack gives three very good reasons why you should leave RIGHT NOW!
………… 1.“this isn’t a cartoon”
…………2. “(killing monster) gets gross and messy”
……….. 3. “this is all real . . . shut the book right now”
Look, I have read the book and monsters have been chasing me ever since. Just yesterday, one of them broke my laptop. I did not even see it do this. One minute the thing worked and the next it was knocked out colder than ice in the Arctic.
I am not going to review this book and have monsters chasing you; breaking your computer. Please understand, Jack Templar was born to be a monster hunter. He had no idea hunting monsters is in his blood, but do any of us know everything that is in our blood? I must be careful. Jack’s two best friends got sucked in. This war against the humans is rooted deep in the past.
But STOP READING. I have told you too much. They could be waiting for me, or YOU!, in the next blog or website. I hesitated, but not long enough. I read the book. DO NOT DO THIS! Yes, that is a peculiar thing for a reviewer to write about a well-written book, with strong characters, interesting twists, and a good plot that will have you, I mean, had me turning pages as fast as I could. Soon, I was afraid a monster would show up before I learned how to kill it. It Did. This time it was a “cannot—replace” laptop. Next time it could be YOU! NOW GO! While you can, click on a safe, nice review.
Loyal readers please trust me on this one. Yes, I enjoyed the book—when I was not thinking and worrying about monsters—and I will read the next book, I need to know how to defend myself. But you sweet readers do not. Return to Ragdolls are the Best, or ABC is for Circus. Anything other than The Templar Chronicles, Book 1: Jack Templar, Monster Hunter.
Unfortunately, I agreed to this tour and must fulfill my obligation, monsters or not. Jack Templar is here today instead of hunting those monsters. I guess I should give him a break, he is just fourteen, pretty old for a monster hunter, but still young enough that he forgets about monsters and does books tours for a book he does not want you to read. Go figure. Like I said, he’s 14. I am POSITIVE he has lured a monster or two right here to Kid Lit Reviews. If that monster is Ren Lucre . . . all of us . . . everyone who reads this review site . . . and all those dear to them will be open to lunch. Not having lunch—being lunch! Monsters could be anyone, anywhere—even someone you know or love.
Without further warnings, here is Jack Templar, Monster Hunter, star of, um, well, um his own book. Readers, please leave.
œᗥᗧᘅᖅᔙᕯᗓᙤᙬᙋᖅᔙᖫᕰᕲᔙᙈᘙ¤ᕥᖆᕬᕖᕳᕼµᗥᗖᕭᖈᕤᕬᗳÔ ᗧᗫᗣᗟᗧᗢᗥᘉÔÑᔛ†ŒR§ᗥᗤᗬᗧᗣᗫᗥᗧ
∞ᗥᗣᗧᙱᗥᙴᙑᙤᙧᙬᙋᙈᘙᗓᖫᕰᕲᕯᖅᔙᕅᓿᔥᓬŒœᕲ¤œᗥᗧᘅ
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Hi, Jack Templar here.
Against my better judgment, I agreed to share some thoughts with you on Kid Lit
Reviews. It’s bad enough that my book Jack Templar Monster Hunter was stolen
and has been read by people across the world. It was meant to only be for monster
hunters, not regular people. Why? Simple.
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If you read the book (and probably this blog) you will attract the monsters in your
area. They will find you and you’ll be forced to become a hunter yourself (if you
don’t want to just become a monster’s dinner, that is.)
There’s my warning. The choice is yours. If I were you, I would just walk away.
Still here? OK, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
I’m going to assume you are here because you are already a monster hunter or in
training to become one.
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I want to share with you some techniques to how to ferret out monsters that might
be lurking in your hometown, waiting until just the right time to strike.
Roll over pictures
Nocturnal behavior.
Monsters prefer the dark shadows of the night. This is not a hard and fast rule so don’t think that when you see someone you suspect of being a monster walking around down on a bright and sunny day that they can be crossed off your list. The Creach are much trickier than that. Still, be on the lookout for people who seem to be night owls. People with night jobs. People who are out for jogs in the middle of the night. This can be a key sign of monster activity.
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Calm demeanors with short temper outbursts.
Creach who are in disguise among humans are under constant strain to keep from being discovered. For the disguise to work, they need to stay as calm as possible to avoid drawing attention to themselves. But the mental strain of resisting the temptation to not eat the people around them can cause them to snap. Just imagine being around walking versions of your favorite food all day without being allowed to eat any of it! Usually, these temper tantrums are short-lived as they regain their composure. Watch out if they feel like they’ve blown their cover. With nothing left to lose, they’ll just start eating!
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Dirty fingernails.
I don’t know why, but the Creach have a terrible hygiene when it comes to their nails. This is especially true for any of the undead monsters. I guess it’s from clawing their way out of a grave. Anyway, when you see someone who always has gross, dirty fingernails, you might want to put him or her under surveillance. It could be a monster…or you might just have found a person with gross fingernails.
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Acute sense of smell.
It depends on the Creach, but a majority of them use their sense of smell to hunt. If you notice someone with a overly sensitive nose smell and who is really grossed out by even the smallest bad smell, you might be on to something. My buddy T-Rex usually helps me out here as he’s always passing gas so I can see who reacts to it. If you don’t have a gaseous friend, try eating some beans yourself so you can conduct this test yourself.
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Reaction to the Templar cross.
You see this a lot in movies. Where the demon or the vampire reacts to a cross. It’s actually not a religious thing. It’s that the Black Guard, the original monster hunters, were a secret society within the Knights Templar. Any cross will do, but if you do a quick google search for a Templar cross,that’s the one that really drives them nuts.
OK, that should be enough to get you going. If you spot anyone suspicious you can
report it to the Monster Hunter Sightings forum at www.jacktemplar.com.
Good luck out there. And remember…
Do your duty, come what may.
Jack Templar.
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“The Author”: Jeff Gunhus
Jeff Gunhus grew up in Cyprus, Greece, and Saudi Arabia where there was a distinct lack of television. He quickly found books were the gateway to incredible adventures, fascinating characters and unbelievable discoveries. Now, with five children of his own (all who watch too much television, in his opinion), he has enjoyed revisiting his old books and reliving those adventures all over again.
Social Media Links:
Website: www.jacktemplar.com Twitter: @JTMonsterHunter Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JackTemplarmonsterhunter
Tour’s Pinterest Board:
http://pinterest.com/girlwhoreads/jack-templar-monster-hunter-tour/
Buy Links:
Amazon: http://amzn.to/WpAyPU IndieBound: http://bit.ly/Si2MxE Barnes&Noble: http://bit.ly/UEosDf
Book Trailer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=weGSnR1urVA&feature=youtu.be
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LAPPY SURVIVED! THANK YOU FOR NICE WISHES.
i AM LAPPY AND I AM WRITING THIS NOTE. NO MONSTER WILL EVER GET ME. I Will never let th o s e ge e . . . help, help me, he lp, he________________
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Hahaha I can tell there’s a certain type of voice you look for when choosing a story! I love this one 🙂
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HA! Not scared (shaky voice and eyes searching). You just said HIS name too. Now, we are both are in trouble. That, my friend, makes us both idiots.Come to Canada. I will let you stay in my marshmallow fortress, where all is safe–for now.
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Hilarious review, I totally want to read it, despite the impending danger. lol Thanks for a great review. Cheers Julie Anne Grasso
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Yes, do read. But, beware, not taking precautions will be the last you will read any book. Why are there comments referring to this serious review as comical, funny, and the oddest one, LOL? I will forgive you this one time, seeing that this is the first time I recall reading you here. Now, go read about Jack but never, ever turn your back to the dark.
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I’m not sure which was more amusing: the original post or the comments/reactions! LOL Either way, I’m cracking up over here! 😀
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You’re cracking up? So that is what the C in Rene C stands for. And you choose this review to reveal that you are a member of the Cracking-Up Clan? Oh, my. I wish you would have been around earlier. Jack was not here but his author, known as “The Author,” was. Maybe he could have helped you place a protective shield around you and the rest of the Cracking-Ups. I like you Rene, my blog hopping friend. I do not want you hopping into the wrong blog without protection. Good luck.
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You are a nutty reviewer lady. Ren Lucre does not live or work in Canada. We have Duce Crablips. Do you know who Duce Crablips is? No? You will soon enough.HA!
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You just said “Ren Lucre,” my idiot friend. That is like sending up a bat signal for the guy. You BETTER read ALL of the Templar Chronicles now. You MUST protect yourself. Don’t think he’ll spend all his time looking for Jack. Lucre takes vacations–and you’ll be his next.
Diane, my-soon-to-be-remembered-fondly-friend, you not only said his name you compared him to lessor creatures. Do you not know that Ren is the World’s bad guy leader? The top spot, head honcho, CEO of the underworld?
CALL ME!! I want to hear your author’s voice one last time. Oh, the stupidity!?
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I am cracking up right now after reading all of the above! You humans, monsters, hunters, whatever — are all crazy! I’m thinking the book will be much better!
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Much better than what? Rhythm, are you “dissing me?” Well, Theo is laying right here. I wonder what you cat friend will say about you dissing his mommy?
BUT, yes, the book is better than . . . The Author had time to plan everything he wanted to say. Everyone commenting here, except apparently you, are scared and frightened. Yeah, both. We are all redundantly scared and frightened. Why are you not?
MONSTER in disguise!
MONSTER-DOG!
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I didn’t mean to imply that I was dissing you. So sorry. I would never do that! I just couldn’t keep up with the conversation. Who was a monster, who was a hunter, who was safe and who wasn’t. Crazy! I was thinking that the book would be easier to follow! I don’t think I’m a monster or a monster hunter. But how does one really know? I hope Theo is staying nice and warm and safe in your lap.
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How did you know Theo was in my lap? He rarely sits in anyone’s lap. With my leg in a brace I no longer have much of a lap yet he found it. BUT how did YOU know he was in my lap?
MONSTER-DOG! You can see the future or make it happen??? Ahhhhh!
Okay, seriously Rhythm, I was just joking on you. I know you are not a dissing dog. Nor are you a diabolical dog, or a demon dog, devil dog, maybe a dear dog, darling dog, donut dog . . . please stop me.
Theo wants to say, “Meow, meow meow, meow deow dog.” I hope that makes sense to you.
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hahahah! Theo sends out those energetic cat vibes — I could feel him purring!
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This was FUN!
Thank you all for commenting and giving me the opportunity to spoof on you–in fun. You are the most loyalest readers I know (except for those Erik has, and he has a lot, A LOT, yet we started almost at the same time?! or is it !?).
Anyway, THANK YOU Author-Monster, Monsters, Monster Hunters, and most especially, my Readers!
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Hey, that’s my picture you have up with the monster description ‘Calm demeanor with short temper outbursts’, and I’ll have you know I AM NOT A MONSTER. NOPE.
I AM A MONSTER HUNTER, hence the sword. I also have a dragon as my steed and we are we are avid and capable monster slayers. Jack Templar, I willing sign up to join your forces. Uh,Sue, are you a monster? It says the monsters are night owls? Hummmmmmm.
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Hi Diane, my good friend. I was so afraid/upset/dismayed/alarmed to see your picture appear by a monster description. I could have said, “Look up the word ‘monster’ and YOUR picture will be there.” But I didn’t put any pictures there. Ren Lucre did. Don’t know who he is, do you? Some monster hunter you are. A hunter knows who Ren Lucre is. EVERY hunter, even those wearing old clothes and carrying a sword.
In my defense, though I have no idea why I should defend, but, in my defense you DO have a calm and quiet demeanor, Diane, and you do have short temper outbursts. In your comment (thank you for commenting 🙂 ), you are calm and then SHOUT; calm and then SHOUT. Hmmmmmmmm.
Call me!
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Welcome to the fight. With the growing threat of an all-out Creach war, we need all the help we can get. Looks like you have the tools of the trade already, so happy hunting. 🙂
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Hi Mr. Author Sir. It is nice to read you here. I need the next book. You know, book 2 you should get out before the next full moon. I need to read it and now so does my unstable friend above you. She’ll need a copy and maybe she will warn the others through her website as I tried to with mine.
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Jack continues to send me notes from the Monster Hunter Academy and I’m putting them together as fast as I can into book two. It’s hard to believe what’s happened to him so far–you’re not going to believe it. I just hope he survives long enough to finish the story!
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RARRR!!! I am a monster…. In the little girl upstairs’s dreams! 😉 I am actually a monster hunter in disguise, so I want to read this book! 🙂
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Wait a minute. Hold the horses. Stop the train. You are a monster who is a monster hunter? Doesn’t this make you feel conflicted like, all the time? “in the little girl upstairs dreams?” Huh? Way too much PiBoIdMo.
You need to be careful. If you are a monster hunter disguised as a monster . . . you could be a double agent-monster. What happens if you turn on yourself and hunt down the monster in yourself? (Can I have all of your readers? The ones who always leave comments?) We would all be so sad, I think. Sad for the hunter you. This all makes my head spin.
Wait . . . did you make my head spin on purpose? You are a MONSTER!
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HAHAHA! I am not a monster, and was saying that MAYBE I was one in the girl upstairs’ dreams (Cupcake mentioned a girl upstairs in her comment, so I said that maybe SHE thinks I’m a monster in her dreams (which I’m not) and am just a monster hunter in disguise scouting out REAL monsters! You are very funny. You should write a joke book (can I help??? 😉 )!
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Ahhh….the ol’ double monster/hunter/monster disguise trick, eh? Heads up because Creach monsters fight first and ask questions later, so don’t rely too much on your tricks. Moms defending their sleeping children are the same way, so careful when you’re putting pink balloons on people’s houses!
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Oh, Erik. Now I understand why, when I first met you saying you were 10 years to another writer, you jumped on me “I’m only 9,” you said.
Erik, you cannot be a monster hunter at age 9 or 10 or 11, 12, or 13. Thus, you must be a monster. I am so sorry to hear that. Your parents have been so proud of you. I feel for them and do not want to be the one to tell them their pride is misplaced in a monster–unless, you belong to a MONSTER FAMILY!
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I am an above-average-height 10-turning-11 child disguised as a Monster Hunter who is disguised as a monster (which I am NOT!!!!)!
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Thanks for the very funny and very creative post. I loved the captions on the photos. (I promptly checked my nails!) So sorry to hear about the monsters getting to your computer. I did include warnings *shrugs*. If they return (and they probably will), we might need to get you some training. 🙂
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My Lappy, the laptop, just died and you want to talk about that stupid Monster Academy you and your friends–and Eva–are going to? At a time like this? Grow up, man, um, almost man!
[so glad you loved the captions Jeff, but I did not write those, Ren Lucre wrote those. But I will take the credit anyway. thanks!]
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It looks like you had fun with this review, well as much fun as you can have when monsters are attacking. Got to go (can’t stay in one place too long). Do you duty, come what may!
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“Come what may?” More like come what left–like my laptop, the laptop I write these reviews on. It is dead, DEAD! Do you have no heart, Donna. The laptop suddenly named Lappy is dead. “Come what may” some monster or monster hunter, but not my LAPPY! Lappy is gone because YOU, you PR person you, YOU brought this story to my review site. Oh, the horror of it all. Waaaah!!
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I suggest the next “lappy” have a hardened case. You’re in the fight now. Keep your head up….there are monsters everywhere.
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You think it was a terrible monster that destroyed your computer?? You should have seen the 2 monsters in front of my house yesterday afternoon!! TWO PINK BALLOONS tied to the shrubs by the door!!! They were for the little girl upstairs. It was her birthday. I need a Monster Hunter over here pronto! *shiver*
Love and licks and 911,
Cupcake
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Yikes! I’m the father of five…four boys and one girl. I’m not sure if I’m ready for pink balloons left outside the house. I’d rather they were werewolves rather than admirers! My daughter is only three…so I have time to work this out.
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Genevieve, Jeff,
What is this? A fear of children from TWO children’s authors–of children’s books–for children to read, and BOTH of you are afraid of children? Oh, my. Is this where your story ideas come from, the fear of children?
ATTENTION Aspiring Children’s Writers! Don’t let the fear of children get to you! Be afraid, DEATHLY AFRAID, of monsters like those two Chicken, no scratch that, like those two Children Little’s. Write ABC Books.
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I was OK untilI noticed my son (the real Jack) was keeping a journal of my activities, evaluating whether I was a monster or not. When I try to tel him I’m not a monster, he replies, “That’s exactly what you would say if you WERE a monster, now isn’t it?” I just hope he doesn’t convince my other four kids that he’s on to something!
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Smart boy — he might be the anonymous that sent your photo to me for this post.
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Ah-ha. I was wondering who sent you that picture. I’ll need to have a little chat with him!
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