♫ All I want for Christmas ♫ are my two front teeth, ♫ my, wait, wait, wait—no. I want a reliable computer that won’t breakdown or die, and likes me because computers hate me.
It is the simple truth. This dislike started in college. Computer labs were new and I was new to computers. Owning a Compaq with so little memory would be considered a fierce joke if offered today, yet it was considered near the top for home computers. You remember those computers, right? They had the big shells, DOS was the preferred platform. If you wanted anything else you used AOL.
An undergrad in need of information, I walked into my first computer lab at OSU—and promptly killed the computer. I turned it on, clicked on who remembers what, and it went black. The on duty tech ran over and tried to resuscitate, but the thing ended up on life support and died hours later. I was sent to a new terminal. I killed it, then went home. Then next time I returned to the lab I killed two more terminals.
I was banned from the lab.
Back to using a physical word processor and my little Compaq to research those DOS files throughout the university system made me realize the consequesces of a machine hating me. I tried to learn all I could about those creatures.
Fast forward thirt . . . a few years, and now we all own powerful home computers or laptops, and even tablets. I own a Toshiba something, and after two years problems began. If you were around KLR a couple years back, you might remember my taking time away to fix and then replace the Toshiba, with the Lenovo I currently own. Toshiba something or other hates me. So I stuffed it into the back of a closet. Yep, still have it. Still hates me.
Score: Computers 2, Me 0.
Next was a Lenovo Yogi 3, whose motherboard died four times in the first year. (This was not my fault. Plug in anything in a USB and the computer motherboard fried then died.) Weird, but then . . . well, computers hate me. Lenovo didn’t believe me when I told them to check the USB port and why. “Are you a tech?” they asked. No, but I know enough to understand if the motherboard dies right after plugging something into the top USB, the problem could be the USB. “Not possible,” they said. Then they replaced the motherboard . . . three times. On the fourth I was told this was the last time. I said it better be, but it was not.
When it died the fourth time, I called. But Lenovo acted like I was a long lost, not-to-be-found relative and ignored my emails and service calls. This happened shortly after I learned the power of a well timed tweet. After a dedicated and determined Twitter campaign, Lenovo replaced the Yogi, but the newer models have the Intel m processor and I had the i5. I was not happy. Lenovo told me to be happy.
Computers 3, Me 0.
Back to Twitter for 12 hours brought Lenovo into negotiations. They sent me a Yogi Pro, upgraded in most every way. Thank you Lenovo! I believe I heard a mumble along the lines of, “Your welcome, now go away.” That was maybe a year ago. I love the Yogi Pro. It is fast, easy to use, fast, lightweight, and fast. I’ve had it maybe a year.
It hates me.
The Yogi Pro-foundly-a-waste-of-my-time dies four or more times while I write a review, use Excel, Word, WordPress, and any site of importance, like banks. I am not a happy reviewer when my files must be recovered. Especially so when I must re-write something several times a night. I have trouble with short-term memory. And not just the where-are-my-keys variety.
Short-term memory problems are not short-term fun. Which makes life excruciatingly frustrating when this laptop decides to shut off (a temporary death) and I can’t recall what I just wrote. I’m sure it was brilliant.
Computers 4, Me 0.
This brings me to today. After months of researching and deciding, penny pinching and credit watching, I broke down and bought a new computer. Against all logic (logically choosing laptops has not worked) I walked past the Apple display and put my money and credit card down on a Surface Book. Thanks to the holidays, I have extra time to return it and extra time to find a lower price plus get a refund of the difference. But—
I am without it tonight as all bloat is being permanently removed, needed programs and apps installed, and whatever else Best Buy does to make sure I never have a need to use the three-years of accidental insurance coverage purchased.
Will the book not hate me?
No, and here is my reasoning why not. I read books every day. I handle books nearly all day. Books have been my life since 2004 when I went from being a social worker to an aspiring author and, thanks to my Institute of Children’s Literature mentor, in 2007, a children’s book reviewer. If there is any computer/laptop out there that will not hate me, it should be one with “Book” in its name. Stay posted.
Score: Computers 4, Me 1
Reviews will resume ASAP, which should be on Thursday. I’ve got some 2016’s you’ll love, holiday books to lift your spirits, and even a few 2017 early birds to tell you about. Now, I need to post this before the machine shuts off again.